Someone I shouldn't miss...

A post from my FB tonight: "It's amazing how you can forget all the bad things at will, only remembering the good... yet your heart will continue to warn you, to remind you that there was a reason you left. All the same, there are some things I miss lately. :-(" What can I say? I miss the lying, cheating, thieving jerk... He could be so much more than that. He was intelligent, though he used it for malicious intentions. He was funny, and charming. And his eyes would light up like you wouldn't believe - he had this childlike wonder - when we did things like go to the aquarium or watched funny cartoons with the kids. He didn't know how to love, and he couldn't trust that anyone truly loved him without ulterior motives. Oh, and let's not forget the mom that told him she was the only woman he could ever trust (while telling him also that she honestly wished he'd never been born) and the dad that said until you get married you should always have a "main" and "associates." Not surprising that his parents cheated on each other, or that he cheated on me, is it? So much negativity... So much abuse, mostly verbal/emotional... But the times where we were relaxed, or when he let me in and we really talked, I was in heaven. I'd planned on marrying him, and he was the first man Kaleb ever called "Daddy." I liked who I was when we were together - when we were happy together, that is. He showed me how to be carefree do things for me, he loved to cook, he loved to do the day-to-day things like grocery shopping, cooking, and walking the dog as a couple or family. Part of the time, he got it. Part of the time, he was amazing. Anyway, I don't really know where I'm going with this. He's Jeckyll & Hyde. Amazingly charming one minute, making you feel like you couldn't belong anywhere but with him. The next, he'll have you trapped somewhere with this look of pure rage, and when he leaves the room for a bit, you honestly think he'll return with a knife to torture and/or kill you. I would never dream of talking to him again, much less seeing him or anything. But what can I say? Right now, I miss him. Thought about him off and on, wondered how he's doing - whether he's getting into trouble still or not (but most likely yes). But right now... Right now I really miss him.